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Weather report; There will he a mild cyclone for yesterday Temp.: 5000* C. %\ t (MS itfhmiait Vol.? Timbuktu, March 51-4591 No. 6 RUFF TRIES TO SHOOT O'KIEFFE BUT GETS MEATBALLS CRAMMED DOWN HIS THROAT! This newspaper has been passing comments in its last few issues concerning the unrest existing between the students and the teacher in that notorious seventh grade. Well, it finally hap' pened! On Wednesday morning, February 17, the Rustonians Cruising Photo' grapher'Reporter, ?iamsirhc Lien, was witness to one of the most startling events of Ruston s (?) years of existence Evidently Jac\ Q^O'Horseplay) Ruff had had enough. On this fateful morning he smuggled an Acme Junior Detective 200'shot Water Pistol into his classroom (very craftily hidden under his / ■ •••, ring and commenced the class. There was a slight gleam in his left eye —probably because he had just washed his glass eyeball— as he opened the text' boo\ titled, "How to Coo\ Mother Murphy$ Medicated Meatballs"s Ruff began the session by as\ing if anyone knew how to coo\ meatballs. Dug (Double Answer ) O'Keiffe raised his hand and exclaimed, "I \now two ways, Sir!" The events that followed were quite confusing. Ruff reached for his pistol, jumped on top of his des\ and too\ careful aim at fake getaway of math review class puzzles the dragnut the class (the spray covers a large area). He pulled the trigger —but, alas— he had forgotten to refill the water com' partment. The blood drained from his face as he realized his position. In the meantime the class rose as one and advanced toward the impetuous professor. O'Keiffe ran to the \{itchen, grab' bed a handful of Mother Murphy s Medicated Meatballs, which were being served that day for lunch, and slowly crammed it down Ruffs throat. At this moment the Rustonians secret agent, disguised as a piece of fallen plaster, too\ the exciting picture located at the top of this pdge. A violent spasm overtoo\ "J. H. R." A doctor was called in, and the diagnosis showed his trouble to be food poisoning. Thus, Ruff spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday recuperating from his "sic\ness:" The twofold moral of this incident is indeed an important one (Continued page 6) THE RUSTONIAN again gives its readers an exclusive. Taken from the official files of the R.B.I. (Ruston Bureau of Investigation). This is an official report as narrated by one of the detectives: I was cruising towards school one day when I received a flash on my two-way wrist radio from the chief. The orders were to get right over to room 13 —the Math Review Class had made a break and had successfully gotten away, (da - da - raa — da-da-da-da-raa-da —da-da-raa-da-daaa). As I swung into the building a suspicious looking character loitering by a locker attracted my attention. I booked him on an 11:47 —loitering while loitering— and proceeded to ask questions. "I hear there's been a break," 1 said, "You were in the area, wanna tell me about it?" His answer had direct bearing on the case, "Well, (Continued page 4) J. D. B. FACES JUSTICE HEADMASTER ARRESTED By W. Pritchett, Night Reporter The headmaster of a private school was arrested last night by one of his former pupils and sentenced by another. The culprit, listed as James D. Baker, Director of Ruston Academy, was charged with posing as blind man and panhandling on the streets of Havana. The arrest was made by Officer Joseph Allen, who was patrolling his beat at the corner of Prado and Neptuno at the time. Officer Allen stated at the hearing before Judge Pedro Suarez that he recog- (Continued page 3)
Object Description
Title | Spoof edition of The Rustonian, March 15, 1945 |
Note | The Rustonian was the Ruston Academy newspaper. |
Subject |
Ruston Academy (Havana, Cuba) Student newspapers and periodicals -- Cuba -- Havana |
Genre |
Newspapers |
Date | 1945-03-15 |
Time Period | 1940-1949 |
Geographic Subject |
Havana (Cuba) |
Physical Description | 6 pages |
Language | eng; spa; |
Repository | University of Miami. Library. Cuban Heritage Collection |
Collection Title | Ruston Academy Records |
Collection No. | CHC5293 |
Container |
Box No. 1 Folder No. 5 Folder Title: The Rustonian, 1941-1959 |
Rights | This material is protected by copyright. The copyright owner is unknown or unidentifiable. For additional information, please visit: http://merrick.library.miami.edu/digitalprojects/copyright.html |
Standardized Rights Statement | http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC-RUU/1.0/ |
Object ID | chc5293000010 |
Type | Text |
Format | image/tiff |
Description
Title | [Page 1] |
Object ID | chc5293000010 |
Digital ID | chc52930000100001001 |
Full Text | Weather report; There will he a mild cyclone for yesterday Temp.: 5000* C. %\ t (MS itfhmiait Vol.? Timbuktu, March 51-4591 No. 6 RUFF TRIES TO SHOOT O'KIEFFE BUT GETS MEATBALLS CRAMMED DOWN HIS THROAT! This newspaper has been passing comments in its last few issues concerning the unrest existing between the students and the teacher in that notorious seventh grade. Well, it finally hap' pened! On Wednesday morning, February 17, the Rustonians Cruising Photo' grapher'Reporter, ?iamsirhc Lien, was witness to one of the most startling events of Ruston s (?) years of existence Evidently Jac\ Q^O'Horseplay) Ruff had had enough. On this fateful morning he smuggled an Acme Junior Detective 200'shot Water Pistol into his classroom (very craftily hidden under his / ■ •••, ring and commenced the class. There was a slight gleam in his left eye —probably because he had just washed his glass eyeball— as he opened the text' boo\ titled, "How to Coo\ Mother Murphy$ Medicated Meatballs"s Ruff began the session by as\ing if anyone knew how to coo\ meatballs. Dug (Double Answer ) O'Keiffe raised his hand and exclaimed, "I \now two ways, Sir!" The events that followed were quite confusing. Ruff reached for his pistol, jumped on top of his des\ and too\ careful aim at fake getaway of math review class puzzles the dragnut the class (the spray covers a large area). He pulled the trigger —but, alas— he had forgotten to refill the water com' partment. The blood drained from his face as he realized his position. In the meantime the class rose as one and advanced toward the impetuous professor. O'Keiffe ran to the \{itchen, grab' bed a handful of Mother Murphy s Medicated Meatballs, which were being served that day for lunch, and slowly crammed it down Ruffs throat. At this moment the Rustonians secret agent, disguised as a piece of fallen plaster, too\ the exciting picture located at the top of this pdge. A violent spasm overtoo\ "J. H. R." A doctor was called in, and the diagnosis showed his trouble to be food poisoning. Thus, Ruff spent Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday recuperating from his "sic\ness:" The twofold moral of this incident is indeed an important one (Continued page 6) THE RUSTONIAN again gives its readers an exclusive. Taken from the official files of the R.B.I. (Ruston Bureau of Investigation). This is an official report as narrated by one of the detectives: I was cruising towards school one day when I received a flash on my two-way wrist radio from the chief. The orders were to get right over to room 13 —the Math Review Class had made a break and had successfully gotten away, (da - da - raa — da-da-da-da-raa-da —da-da-raa-da-daaa). As I swung into the building a suspicious looking character loitering by a locker attracted my attention. I booked him on an 11:47 —loitering while loitering— and proceeded to ask questions. "I hear there's been a break," 1 said, "You were in the area, wanna tell me about it?" His answer had direct bearing on the case, "Well, (Continued page 4) J. D. B. FACES JUSTICE HEADMASTER ARRESTED By W. Pritchett, Night Reporter The headmaster of a private school was arrested last night by one of his former pupils and sentenced by another. The culprit, listed as James D. Baker, Director of Ruston Academy, was charged with posing as blind man and panhandling on the streets of Havana. The arrest was made by Officer Joseph Allen, who was patrolling his beat at the corner of Prado and Neptuno at the time. Officer Allen stated at the hearing before Judge Pedro Suarez that he recog- (Continued page 3) |
Archive | chc52930000100001001.tif |
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