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Po?e 2	VOL. XXXV, No. 21
The Mia
. ♦ University of Miami
UM
$100 Mil
■Philanthropist
‘DONT MENTION IT, JAY’
Donor-Trustee Twavis Gave
Dedication Is Set Next Week In Honor Of Generous Doner
Trustee and millionaire Archer Twining Twavis today announced an outright gift of $100 million to the University.
“I heard President Pearson say that all the UM needed was $100 million—and I figures, ‘What the heck, it’ll put me in a lower tax bracket’,” he said.
“It’s just what I’ve always wanted,” shouted Dr. Jay F. W. Pearson, gamboling about his Ashe Building office, papered in contemporary past due bills.
111 build us a field house, an’ some classroom buildings, an’ six libraries, an’ an’ . . .” Pearson convulsed as his secretary held out the carton of tranquilizers.
Meanwhile, Philanthropist - in - Chief Twavis was also pretty happy.
“Sure I’m generous,” he said, “but don’t let it
get around—I’m not made of money, you know.”
In commemoration of the gift, next week has
been designated “Kudos-To-A. Twi. Twavis
Week.” Here is the schedule:
■	MONDAY—Dedication of statue group showing Twavis with his arm around Pearson. In front of Beaumont, 3 p.m.
■	TUESDAY—Burning of “Temporary Buildings” by Board of Trustees. Torches lit, 8:30 p.m.
■	WEDNESDAY—Final exams all Finance classes.
■	THURSDAY—Students invited to swim in the Student Union Lake, filled with dimes. From 3-5 p.m.
■	FRIDAY—Dedication of University Money Bin. Principal speaker, Nelson Rockefeller.
■	SATURDAY — “ We-Got-Plenty-Of-Money ” Dance in Student Union.
Photo by Cupp
‘WE’RE IN THE MOOLA, NOW’
President Pearson Got It
Early Tallies Are Released
Unofficial results of yesterday’s half of student government voting were released to the Hurricane today.
Leading in the incomplete tally was Mort Sahl (Right? ‘ Right Party), followed closely by L’l Fremount (Pogo Party), Billy Poobah (Bicycle Party) and Bud Wyser (Beer Party).
USG head Jim Blosser, commenting on the turnout, said; “Jes fine.”
Of the 1,896 votes cast yesterday, Sahl was the high man with 2,313. Following closely, otl his heels as it were, were L’l Fremount with 3V2, Poobah with —35 and Wyser with 8.
Receiving write-in votes were revolution major Fido Castro, government major Nicky Khrushchev, 2nd lieutenant major Elvis Pretzel and money major Alan Kraiger.
POLLS WILL be open today ffom 8;3o a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Voting . , done by machine, oper-Y ! by coed Tammy Hall of New ork. She will instruct those un-
. lar wdth the machine how to vote.
Final
vote tabulation will be
conducted tonight by Fabien Se-vitzky. A formal installation ceremony will take place tomorrow night at a local pub. Music will be provided by the Dick Meyer orchestra, led by Meyer over long-distance telephone.
An informal party for losers will be held any old time at Harry’s Friendly Bar, an off-
On the referendum issue jj conducted by USG, here are j the unofficial results of yes- | terday’s voting:
145 students are willing to j cut four days off their Easter : vacation to get final exam | “breathers.”
1,215 are willing to cut out | four days of their final exams > to get longer Easter vaca- j tions.
campus restaurant honoring Supper Club of America cards, Carte Blanche, Diners Club and small change.
A rumor that Rodney Fodcrop, local Presidential candidate, was on campus to solicit votes proved to be unfounded. ___________
Winding Blows In
Peat Kai Winding and His H“®* dav d tet blew Miami Tues- «6*31
Qay evening.
after^i Hew out Tuesday night 300 ay.*n§ a concert for some Field l0V6rs on the Athletic
Th q
^omLeXed-tet consists of five for^g 6S and a tambourine. The Wink ^ P^yed by: Winding,
^wari’r?Unken> Nod and latter. ‘ ^ande Nation plays the
^tritap V trombonist (musical
' ^PPoinTed’’8^?6 Was “not t0°
jj0iv d at the turnout.
Tuite iIIur’ binding did seem
v klastinv wben he marched i^es aw., born section three ^itSfce720 Dorm , caus-s to come tumbling
ÿt A Only ìflarck 3Zhc(!
In case, after reading many of the stories in this week’s Hurricane, you think we’re off our nut—don’t. Just ask the clod standing next to you what the date is. The clod will answer “April 1, 1960”—which, as any good clod knows, is April Fool’s Day.
A healthy, well-adjusted person (and university) is one that can laugh at himself with a slight sense of knowing he’s been stung. We’re confident that the University of Miami is healthy enough to take a rib-
bing here and there.
WE RESPECT THIS UNIVERSITY — its president, administrators, faculty members and students. One can only joke about people, places and things when behind that satire lies a feeling of high respect and encouragement.
And if you people are interested in real news and other interesting material, turn to Page 5. That’s where the real stuff begins . . . we think.
Have fun, it’s' Spring. And Happy April, Fools!
‘NECESSARY9
$250 Tuition Change
Dean: 'UM Has Parking Problem’
The University Bored of Trustees announced a $250 tuition decrease today.
In a short, 76-page memo the Trustees explained the sudden change in tuition policy.
“WE REGRET having to take this step,” they said, “but we know all students will understand that it has been forced by today’s deflationary trends.”
They explained that the University had actually taken in enough money with endowments and gifts from race tracks, industrialists, sports events and other cultural sources to make the tuition cut necessary.
“IF MORE money is needed,” they continued, “we will make up the deficit by cutting faculty sal-
I). Pearson Talks Today
Drew Pearson, mild-mannered teenage advice columnist, will speak on campus this afternoon at 3:30.
Pearson will address students of the Departments Department in the lower canoe pits on the topic, “Has the United States Become A World Power?
Pearson writes a daily syndicated column “I Can’t Get Off The Washington Marry-Go-Round,” which is purchased by 171 American newspapers and published in six.
aries. This is necessary if the University hopes to maintain the teaching staff at its present high level.”
The tuition cut will take effect Sept. 31, 1968.
“There is a definite parking problem at the University,” noble Dean Hendrix yesterday told the UM administration.
“After investigating the campus parking areas between the prime class hours of 8 a.m.-ll p.m.,” he said, “I was almost convinced that we had no parking problem.
“But then, I investigated the
parking areas between the
choice hours of 11 p.m.-2 a.m.
Wow!”
The parking report submitted by the noble dean was accepted yesterday by the administration. They are now launching an investigation to find who authorized Dean Hendrix to investigate after-dark parking.
Dean Hendrix could not be reached at his home for comment. However, his wife said that he would be back from the track later this afternoon.
A rumor that 675 angry
young men—all of whom reported that “some guy with a flashlight kept poking his nose into the back seat of my car”— were forming a vigilante committee is being discounted by University officials.
Undergraduate Student Government, working with Dean Hendrix, is organizing a parking committee. Students interested may apply beginning tonight.
Dean Hendrix’s secretary told the Hurricane this morning:1 “I’m sorry, but Dean Hendrix is out to lynch now. Can he call you
back?”
Armed Services
UM’s Army and Air Force RO-TC held battle maneuvers yesterday on the intramural Athletic Field.
Burial services will be held Tuesday.
+ +
Photo by Hartack
HENDRIX AND DEAN OF MEN BEN DAVID RACE FOR SINGLE PARKING SPOT
Cheering Students Line Faculty Parking Lot