Miami Hurricane, March 31, 1933

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VOL 7.
Miami Hooeycane
tit'1 ^- --_______
THE OFFICIAL STVDENT PUBLICATION OF thFT7?
XIVERS1TY OF MIAMI

ertsnay frats
RENOUNCE BEER WITH MUCH ADO
Avoirdupois For Women Declared Taboo By Some Egg
At a meeting which did not adjourn until three this morning representatives from two of the leading fraternities on the campus went on record as opposing the recent bill passed by Congrss which will permit the sale of 3.2 beer and trine April T. The motion of disapproval passed at the all-night session held at Charley’s Prezel Garden. Douglas Road, urges that all. college men ami Bill McKoy sign a pledge providing for à total abstinence from the alcoholic drink.
Plans were made for the formation of a junior W. C. T, U. (We Can't Take Ut) organization that will be of nation-wide scope.
“We are opposed to the imbibing of beer by University of- Miami students.” said the president of one of the, organization, a man noted for his extemporaneous' perform-master of ceremonie- at lances and social functions.
“It is especially dangerous for our co-eds to be subjected to the temptations of drinking that flesh-producing beverage. Who wants a fat wife in sunny Florida, any- ' how ? ”
“I’m from Alabama,” shouted the president of the other fraternity represented at the meting, -in a vigorous protest to the advent of beer-drinking. "The progress of temperance else) has been impeded in my state because beer intersts hav succeeded in tying the hands of that glorious statesman, “Tom-Tom
_CORAL GABLES. (MIAMI), FLORIDA. FRIDAY. MARCH 31. 1933
In for his ex ames as n
J Unicef-it y
NO. 23
PASTOR BILL P ASSES ON TO HIS REWARD
Blonde Fanatic Lays Data Guy Leader Low With Knife
the
There is an ominous stillness about the Hooeycane office today. N<r more will the patio ring with dainty feminine voices, as thé Data Guy congregation sigh their “amens” to the booming voice of their loved (and lost) leader ill-fated Pastor Bill.
■ He has 1er! his faithful -over the mountains of love through the wilderness of re he has become endeared a- ■ cted memory in the .hearts o entire - assemblage, but now. he ha- been called awav.
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How The Girls Chorus Was Picked For The Minstrel Show
SECRET OF HIDDEN FAMILY
GIVEN UP BY ISLAND LAIR
In order to have the "cream of the crop” for the Minsrel show chorus, “Trash” Piler, Red Frost-rom. . Pick We-wine and Barley along with everything Neekman, took it upon themselves to pick the fair damsels who would have the honor of exhibiting ‘their chassis to the faithful on April 7. (What I want to know it. who
Heflin. Doywe want the University picked ,these four mugs to do the of Miami to descend to the same, picking). Anyway, the gals were and physical all bunched. up on the stage in groups and then the selection committee went to work. Each one of the mugs, had his own little way of picking. “Trash”,went through the girls with his hand on his heart.- Any gal who made it palpitate he “thumbs downed." He likes the motherly type of chorus girl, they’re steadier in the long, run.
Pick We-wine didn’t like any of the gals. “They look like Miami co-eds,” he said coyly, but firmly. (Gontiued on page three) Boost the Minstrel Frowning Of King and Ko-ed Knocks Kampus Kock-Eyed
intellectual, moral, level as Alabama?
See the Minstrel
Romantic Red-Head Named As Seducer
Attractive And Intellectual Femmes Tangle Over Handsome Prof
Society was startled today at the news that Miss Sedra (Annex)
Man Hotafter t Not ever) is suing ■nor Heate Salami for breach of promise. She is naming Rocks Liose as the other woman.
“Me were going to have a little Spanish castle in old 'shanty town.”	- 1	~ , _	.
sobbed Sedra. "We were going to "Surley” South and Cerm, Soon dicot naughtv Columbians and Ban.ioff were	'1‘t'	a^'
Heate was going to get - all sorts	Q»«"	tolal	T“b1“ ”	**
of (sniff) big brass buttons.”	popular	(?) election held at	the
“I was going to be his squaw Grampus Krown Shapers dance m voman. We were going to Spain the girl's gocraz.um, Saturday, and raise and raise—hell!"	April 1.	•
The “other woman,” Miss Rocks The dancej which is a benefit for Loose, had nothing to say.	the University Old Folks' Home,
"He-just went with Sedra-for her	is the outstanding	eten. o.	vhp
looks," she sneered. "He admire's	Sphring	Shieashon.-	for .the older
®o for my mind. He—.”
Stupid Hatton States He F’redictecI Ftesult Of Tendencies
•Pandemonium reigneil touay as the discovery of the existence of the hitherto unknown family of I. Come Humm wa- made known.
The young-ters ages two and
Oscar and Oswald, four respectably,
t Miss Rhoads u a pearl-handled -1 Still given; her by her- mother on. fth birthday) fist-deep. int< heart of the man who -ays, is-, a menace to society member of the Gollectionist party. When she was informed that her victim was a Socialist (the Lambdas admit it) she howled, with red lips, that they were one and th? -ante to her. She' insisted, even, that he was a thief. But at this stage of the investigation the police were forced to rush her secretly (and how).to the jail house, a- the mob -was becoming violent.
Whether or not the murder wa-premeditated ha- not been determined by authorities. All that the girl will say is “I keel heern. 1
“I keel heem.
with their vivacious brunette moth- keel him. I keel all Pastors. 1 g er are residing in an unpretentious pain in stomach. I don’t e-aar. cottage on the South side of Bulk- have defenateiy geeven heem
I
The Happy Family
Bupp's To Offer High Class Entertainment To Studes
Bupps, well known collegiate hangout, wishes to announce the engagement of a snappy* -revue which will entertain its clientele during the lunch boufr and at various times during the day. This revue is composed of such well known and versatile -tars as Mary Boadicea Merritt, noted rhumba artist. Bolonie Rosborough and Sandy Harris', who appear as an ensemble, Jemimah E. Morton Miller, eccentric dancer, Georgia
head Island, off Coconut Grove. They appear , to be happy in their -primitive surrounding-, little realizing the havoc wrought bythe recent announcement.
Mrs. Humm, the formel Susie'. Sassafras, had little to say, when questioned by Hooeycane reporters. She merely smiled her -ad slow smile and simpered becomingly, leading the inquirers to believe that Humm had tired of brainy women -uch as are found only at-an institution of higher learning and took thi- means of release from the wearying world and its activities.
The culprit has not yet been located and was last seen steaming down the bay in a brawn-drawn scow labeled “Hobo H." Various acquaintances have expressed the opinion that he will return for he been known for his
social contingent, coming as it does Rostr. ajiycig.re- MF MF MFFF just between the holidays attained May (Do what ? ) Barrett, hynotist
But the cause of all the trouble, . the man in the case, gave a differ- by students flunking from the » m- B<jrtha Loster, pianist, and Betty e"t (although, possibly, closely re- ter season ‘and students to flunk Rates (a husband) of voea! fame. i*ted) turn to the story	in June.	'	are other member- of the cast.
“My grandfathers ’were bull- Eleven of the leading women's fighters." he said, hesitantly. “My clubs of the Miami area had en-
(Continued on page four)
Sell Minstrel Ticket-
Death of the Tired Man
On the instigation of members of the student body a Hooeycaic reporter wa- -ent out to investigate the mysteribuK disappearance of one of the numerous editors of this unholy ■ revue, I nor. Auld Graft,
It was found after city-wide search that Mr. Graft . had .committed sideways by jumping into the depths of the Ojus. River. It wa- thought, by authority- tr.a’ there was a woman at the notion* of it.
Sell Minstrel Tickets Nertzv Shindig Held
Recently a -well dance was-he.d at the Moral (Maybe) Sou-ing Pub. Among the cha_palong- were Miami Mrs. Orter Blow . Dr. and Mi -Foaming Hash, also Mis- Borrow-thy Slavens. Mr. Barry Sovin. anc Mis- May Deservit.
The prance contest was won b\
Bras
(aide’s were all bull-fighters ■others are bull-fighters, (ather-er. I think—well, anyway *hen I- met Rocksy I saw red."
Sell Minstrel Tickets
My tered candidates, while merchants
Pledging Announced
Data Guy sorority wishes to an-Zachary
Mv of Coral Tables. Miami and- Miami nounce the pledging of -qv Reach donated prize- which were Zwicker who has been
Beach donated prize awarded to the groups selling the in most tickets.
has always fortitude.
H¡liner Smellsom. instructor to whom Humm Was lab assistant stroked his .blonde moustache * thoughtfully when -que-tipneil and -aid slowly? “It is sad that man
with all his civilization has been Pinny Ba-tmgs and Hamca unable to discover a way to resist The Sigh Guy Fraternity won the the primitive wiles and charms of live bollar conquest for ha.mg t e woman.” He concluded with a sigh most pickets. Those seen prancing —“Humm was such a dependable were Sleuth fellow too.”	Settye Guilîivan, Barrel
Mr. Hasis Pantslit, manager of Mopsy Her Long, Leva Lones, Le.-
prominent Coral Tables' foremost paper and ty LayFuddington. ”
of I. Come Patty Pusenflyer.
Slewus.
Gallon.
Hellenor Fixzit
Keep Our Campus Clean" ac- business acquaintance
tivities.
(Contiued on page three)
Boost the Minstrel