Miami Hurricane, July 28, 1944

              Illiterate Writers RlghtM Harricue
Never let it be said that University of Miami students don’t learn anything here. We offer as evidence a letter we received this week from two former students who would like to work with us on the paper next trimester:
“How muche do we git pade? How long duz we have to work? Puleese anser by return male to the abuv adres.
“We is working now for the War Engineers et the Vocational bldg, but if yourr pisition has better prospekts, we will be a willin to agive up ourn present pisitioAs.
“We wants youse to knew that we red yourn advertuzmint in the paper. Pleeze reply.”
There is no need to name the writers. They will be more than obvious when the next trimester starts. Happy reading.
'Alley Oop’ Shooting Points Way to More Hunan Connies
Superman has resisted the advances of the most beautiful woman in the world. Little Abner gave fourteen gallons of blood to prove that Fearless Fosdick could do it. These extraordinary events in comic strip history we know you have observed and marveled at, but did you read the July 26 strip of T. V. Hamlin’s ‘fAlley Oop?”
A precedent has been broken! A comic strip hero has been wounded, and by nothing more deadly than a measly rifle bullet. This, a revolutionary step in the field, points the way toward a new era in which the hero will be treated as a living, breathing human being who can do everything but die. Congratulations are certainly dae the author and he should receive a great big dog biscuit for his originality and courage! _________________
COMPLETE AND UNEXPURGATED
Snark Scrapbook Reveals Secrets Of The Jubjubs
Most all things come to the Hurricane office; hot the strangest of these, but well worth mentioning, is the scrapbook of the Snarks. It’s a huge imitation leather affair coming from Goldsmith’s, “the big stationery store” in New York. The pages in the scrapbook would not suffice as they came so the Snark members embellished them with green paper and pasted blue paper over it. But, then, it’s the Snarks scrapbook.
Page 1 is a title page fantastically drawn with crayon; it assures the reader that Snarks is a creative writing society. Page 2 lists the original members of the society, and then there was a pause of eight years. Comes the following notation:
“The Snarks have not gone inactive even if the scrapbook has— taken up again in January, 1944.” We turn the page and discover the scrapbook was again abana-doned shortly after January, 1944. But in that short span two new “oldest living Snarks” (president of the society to the illiterati) and one Snarketary (sic!) recorded their names for posterity. Seems the society had acquired a new advisor, too.
After three more blank green, blue, and buff pages we come | »cross a page of Snarkographs, replete with seven valid and undoubtedly genuine signatures. This page will be priceless in years to come no doubt. On the follow-ing page is another page headed Snarkographs, but the page is blank. A priceless opportunity wasted, no doubt.
On and on we search, not without reward. Our first find is a Page of “our most honorable jub-Jub birds” (capitalization varies from original) and we are as-[ bonded to find recorded here the | names of some of America’s most l iamous writers. Unfortunately are not signatures but [names printed there by one and
Ilk 581,15 hand- I’!''8 page is not, [ therefore, as priceless as the containing authentic Snarko-| graphs.
Another find. A complete and »expurgated dictionary of ■"arkian terminology” (again capitalization is not as found the original). We here learn , terms snark, boojum, jubjub and clichumptive. For the ore analytical minda among pos-18 readers we offer that “cli-means replete with expressions. (And we t»* analytical minds would
analyze that!)
There is also a page whereon “fotosnarks” are to be enshrined. Obviously, no Snarks have yet made the grade, for there are no fotosnarks to be found. The page is blank.
The scrapbook closes with “The Hunting of the Snark,” by Lewis Carrol. This is printed by hand with blue ink on a green background. Subtitle of the work is an agony in eight fits.” Careful tally reveals that your reporter only suffered seven fits while reading this work. That leaves one fit left over. You, the reader, may have a fit, too.
bird.
Gables Sets Goal For Expansion Fund
Pledges totaling $3,200 were voluntarily announced by six former students at a dinner meeting Tuesday at the Coral Gables Country club where University alumni and Gables business men laid plans to participate in the million-dollar expansion fund.
The group set $150,000 as their minimum share in the campaign, although no definite goal was fixed.
Various phases of the expansion movement were the subjects of talks by Mayor Thomas C. Mayes, Vincent D. Wyman, former mayor of Coral Gables and University trustee, Dennis B. Welsh and Foster Alter, dean of men.
THE MIAMI Jacksonville,
Tolse
July 28, 1944
Chemistry Honors To Hear Dr. Hjort
First in a series of five lectures to be given to the student body by various guest speakers will be presented by the Chemistry Honors society in the chem lab August 8.
Dr. Hjort will be the first lecturer. Future guest speakers and their subjects will be announced.
Five new pledges, to be initiated into the aociety tonight, are Hal Levin, George Gaffney, Roland Kohen, Richard Farrior, and H. Vogh.
In order to gain admission into this organization a student must have passed sixteen hoars of chemistry with an average grade of B and must show unusual interest.
Y12 Bond Plays Jive for Frosh
Walt Etling, leader of the V-12 band, and Harold Goldstein, coleader, have announced that there will be a swing concert in the Cardboard theater today at 12:45 p.m. It is compulsory for all freshmen to attend this program.
The assembly will begin with the playing of the band’s theme song, “In My Solitude.” Following will be “Swinging on a Star,” with Harold Goldstein singing the vocal. Other numbers include “I Understand,” “Jumping at the Woodside ” “Blue Snow,” “One O’clock Jump.”
Bill Tomlinson will be the master of ceremonies. An impromptu skit will be presented.
YWCA Names Date For Potluck Supper
The Y. W. C. A. will hold a potluck supper on August 3 at 4:45 p.m. in the Granada Music Workshop, President Frances Bennett announced yesterday.
Evelyn Johnson, music major, has charge of the program, which will include a business meeting to discuss plans for the “Bachelor Hop,” to be presented this term. Three freshmen will be elected tc the Y. W. C. A. cabinet at the meeting.
New members will be initiated at the same time, when a recognition service will be held.
The program includes a piano prelude by Martha Fahnestock, the call to worship by Grace Wilbur, vocal solo by Evelyn Johnson, the president’s message by Frances Bennett, a flute solo by Jo Mool, “Version Splendid,” sung by Sue Burch, and the candlelight installation by Jo Mool.
26 Girls Win Place On Scholastic List
Twenty-six girls have made the third trimester Honors list, it was announced by the scholarship committee last week.
A reportorial error was responsible for the omission of this list in the last edition.
The girls who attained an average of 2.5 were Frances Biro, Margaret Brown, Dorothy Edel-son, Vivian Feld, Phyllis Goldman, Elizabeth Graham, Rita Grossman, Bettie Harlow, Carolina Hunter, Bernice Karp, Myra Liebowitz Arlene Lipson, and Judith Lopez.
Also Jane Mack, Doris Malmud, Jane Meyers, Martha Pugh, Lillian Rubin, Delores Sthwartz, Alma Jane Schwarzenbek, Dorothea Skinner, Muriel Smith, Mary Francesca White, Grace Wilbur, Juanita Withem, and Ruth Zimmerman.
AD SALESMEN!
Advertising salesmen who
work for tho HURRICANE got 20 per coot commission. See Earl Rnhin, business manager, in the office nay day at noon.
Junior Hosts Picked For First Trimester
Junior Hosts, an honorary organization of junior class students who have been appointed because of their academic, leadership and service qualifications, have been named by Miss Mary B. Merritt, dean of women, and Foster Alter, dean of men.
Those appointed will serve for this trimester only. Their duties include cooperation with the social committee, work with the vice president of the Student association in planning assemblies, work with the orientation committees, official greeters to visiting groups on campus, cooperation with other colleges, coordination of undergraduate activities, and service as official University student hosts.
The girls named are Idamae Armour, Frances Bennett, Muriel Smith, Phoebe Von Paulson, Jeanette Cox, Faye Hunter, and\ Irene J. Reich.
The boys are Richard Farrior, chairman; Bill Broughton, Herbert Paslee, Richard Hurlebaus, Herbert Horton, Jack Straessley, and Marshall Simmons.
'44 Schedule
Tulsa University, to be played December 1, and Jacksonville Naval Air Technical Training center to be played October 20, are the latest additions to the now completed University of Miami 1944 football schedule. The Hurricanes have an open date on October 14. but the team will use that time to smooth out the kinks in the machine revealed by the South Carolina game.
With Tulsa arriving on December 1, the Hurricanes will meet three bowl teams as the season wanes.
The Tulsans have played in bowls the last three years, losing to Georgia tech 30—18 last January 1 in the Sugar bowl, to Tennessee 14—7 the year before in the same bowl, and defeating Texas Tech 6—0 in the Sun bowl at El Paso on January 1, 1942.
The Texas Aggies have played in four bowls, losing to L. S. U. here last January 1, 19—14, losing to Alabama 29—21 in the Cotton bowl the year before, beating Fordham 13—12 in the same bowl in 1941, and beating Tulane 14—13 in the Cotton bowl in 1940.
Auburn downed Michigan state in the Orange bowl, 6—0, in 1938.
The complete schedule follows: Oct. 7 (Saturday)—South Carolina
Oct. 14—Open date Oct. 20—Jacksonville NATTC Oct 27—Wake Forest Nov. 3—Florida Nov. 10—North Carolina State Nov. 17—Presbyterian Nov. 24—Auburn 5 Dec. 1—Tulsa \ Dec. 8—Texas A. & M.
Justice to Leave; Troetschel Prexy
Don Justice, Oldest Living Snark (president), was the guest of honor at a Snarks luncheon yesterday at San Sebastian restaurant He is leaving the University shortly for New York.
Henry Troetschel was elected Oldest Living Snark to fill the vacancy.	....	y
It waa announced that Marjorie Stoneman Douglas, author and Miami Herald book reviewer, will address the dob’s next meeting.
Ponhellenic Tea AftSegoviaMonday
Panhellenic council, composed of two members from each sorority on campus, will entertain al! new co-ed students, freshmen and upperclassmen at an informal tea Monday at 3:30 p.m. at the Segovia dormitory.
Members of the council are Joanne Fandrey, president. Delta Zeta; Rita Grossman, Delta Phi Epsilon; Betty Albin, Alpha Epsilon Phi; Jo Mool, Chi Omega; Sari Jane Blinn, Kappa Kappa Gamma; Mary Ruth Hayes, Zeta Tau Alpha; Charlotte Motter, Sigma Kappa.
Fandrey, Albin, Blinn and Motter are not in school this trimester.
Sophs To Enforce Frosh M Book Rules
Only the freshman rules prescribed in the M book will be enforced this trimester, announced Clyde Frazier, president of the student body.
The rules are:
(1)	Freshmen must wear dinks at all times except Sunday and when in attendance at formal affairs.
(2)	All freshmen must attend all freshmen meetings.
(3)	Freshmen must not wear high school insignia, excepting class rings.
(4)	Freshmen must learn University songs and cheers.
(5)	Freshmen should attend all University athletic events and sit in the section reserved for them.
Enforcement will be handled by the sophomore council and the senate committee on freshman orientation.
Complete Student Government Roster
Following is a complete list of student government officers:
Student Association
Pres.—Clyde Frazier Vice Pres.—Roland Kohen Secy.—Dick Hurlebaus Treas.—Hack Kushin
Honor Court
Chief Justice—Dan Ginsberg Prosecuting Atty.—Jim Pilafian Associate Justices—
Dick Farrior Sebastian Sisti Jack McMichael Maurice Levy Zemey Barnes Ray Fleming
Senior Class Pres.—Irwin Raskin Vice Pres.—Bob Shashy Secy.-Treas.—Rita Grossman Senators—
Prince Brigham Maria Porrà Howard Bamhard
Law School Senators Natalie Frmnkel Michael Juan Robert Fizhkind
Junior Class
Pres.—Marshall Simmons Vice Pres.—Hal Levin Secy.—Frances Bennett Treas.—George Auld Senators—
Henry Blackburn James Leibman Gwen Young
Sophomore Class
Pres.—Ed Mickler Vice Pres.—Gene Sumner Secy.—Bill Frost Treas.—Sam King Senators—
Dan Benham Bob Whitaker Henry Troetschel
Freshman Class
Pres.—Ken Tarbell Vice Pres.—Bob High Secy.—Edith Shier Treas.—Not appointed Senators—
Floyd Archambault Bill Tomlinson Bob Pretat