Miami Hurricane, July 28, 1944

              Illiterate Writers
Ri gh 11u I H nrrieane
Never let it be said that University of Miami students don't
learn anything here. We offer as evidence a letter we received
this week from two former students who would like to work
with us on the paper next trimester:
"How muche do we git pade? How long duz we have to work?
Puleese anser by return male to the abuv adres.
"We is working now for the War Engineers et the Vocational
bldg. but if yourr pisition has better prospekts, we will be a
willin to agive up ourn present pisitions.
"We wants youse to knew that we red yourn advertuzmint in
the paper. Pleexe reply."
There is no need to name the writers. Tbey will be more than
obvious when tbe next trimester starts. Happy reading.
'Alley Oop* Shooting Points
Way ta Mare Hi
Superman has resisted the advances of the most beautiful woman
in the world. Little Abner gave fourteen gallons of blood to prove
that Fearless Fosdick could do it. These extraordinary events in
comic strip history we know you have observed and marveled
at, but did you read the July 26 strip of T. V. Hamlin's 'fAlley
Oop?"
A precedent has been broken! A comic strip hero has been
wounded, and by nothing more deadly than a measly rifle bullet.
This, a revolutionary step in the field, points tbe way toward a
new era in which the hero will be treated as a living, breathing
human being who can do everything but die. Congratulations are
certainly dae the author and he should receive a great big dog
biscuit for his originality and courage!	
COMPLETE AND UNEXPURGATED
Snark Scrapbook Reveals
Secrets Of The Jubjubs
Most all things come to the
Hurricane office; not the strangest of these, but well worth mentioning, is the scrapbook of the
Snarks. It's a huge imitation
leather affair coming frojn Goldsmith's, "the big stationery store"
in New York. The pages in the
scrapbook would not suffice as
they came so the Snark members
embellished them with green paper
and pasted blue paper over it.
But, then, it's the Snarks'- scrap-
book-
Page 1 is a title page fantastically drawn with crayon; it assures the reader that Snarks is
a creative writing society. Page
2 lists the original members of
the society, and then there was
a pause of eight years. Comes the
following notation:
"The Snarks have not gone inactive even if the scrapbook has—
taken up again in January, 1944."
We turn the page and discover
the scrapbook was again abana-
doned shortly after January, 1944.
But in that short span two new
"oldest living Snarks" (president
of the society to the illiterati)
and one Snarketary (sic!) recorded their names for posterity.
Seems the society had acquired
a new advisor, too.
After three more blank green,
blue,  and   buff   pages   we   come
I wross a page of Snarkographs.
replete with seven valid and undoubtedly genuine signatures. Thia
psge will be priceless in years
to come no doubt On the following page is another page headed
Snarkographs, but the page is
blank. A priceless opportunity
wasted, no doubt.
On and on we search, not with-
oot reward. Our first find is a
**Se of "our most honorable jub-
jnb birds" (capitalisation varies
from original) and we are astounded to find recorded here the
i James of some of America's most
| famous writers. Unfortunately
these are not signatures but
._-neS Frinted there by one and
■» same hand. This page is not,
therefore,    as   priceless    as    the
IP»ge containing authentic Snsrko-
I graphs.
Another find.  A complete and
^expurgated   dictionary   of
»narkian    terminology"     (again
N capitalisation is not as found
F? the original).  We   here   learn
j™* terms  snark, boojum, jubjnb
mu,  and  clichumptive.   For   the
or« analytical minds among pos-
m readers we offer that *__-'
"■"Ptive"   means   replete   with
^-»orn   expressions.   (An* we
the analytical minds  would
analyze that!)
There is also a page whereon
"fotosnarks' are to be enshrined.
Obviously, no Snarks have yet
made the grade, for there are no
fotosnarks to be found. The page
is blank.
The scrapbook closes with "The
Hunting of the Snark," by Lewis
Carrol. This is printed by hand
with blue ink on a green background. Subtitle of the work is
"an agony in eight fits." Careful
tally reveals that your reporter
only suffered seven fits while
reading this work. That leaves one
fit left over. You, the reader, may
have a fit, too.
Gables Sets Goal
For Expansion Fund
Pledges totaling $3,200 were
voluntarily announced by six former students at a dinner meeting Tuesday at the Coral Gables
Country club where University
alumni and Gables business men
laid plans to participate in the
million-dollar expansion fund.
The group set $150,000 as their
minimum share in the campaign,
although no definite goal was
fixed.
Various phases of the expansion
movement were the subjects of
talks by Mayor Thomas C. Mayes,
Vincent D. Wyman, former mayor
of Coral Gables and University
trustee, Dennis B. Welsh and Foster Alter, dean of men.
Chemistry Honors
To Hear Dr. Hjort
First in a series of five lectures to be given to the student
body by various guest speakers
will be presented by the Chemistry Honors society in the chem
lab  August  8.
Dr. Hjort will be the first lecturer. Future guest speakers and
their subjects will be announced.
Five new pledges, to be initiated into the society tonight, are
Hal Levin, George Gaffney, Roland Kohen, Richard Farrior, and
H. Vogh.
In order to gain admission into
this organisation a student most
have paased sixteen hours of
chemistry with an average grade
of B and most show unusual interest
Coral -"r"™.
is, \no. i
THE MIAMI
JOT.T 28, 1944
V12 Band Plays
Jive for Frosh
Walt Etling. leader of the V-12
band, and Harold Goldstein, co-
leader, nave announced that
there will be a swing concert in
the Cardboard theater today at
12:45 p.m. It is compulsory for
all freshmen to attend this program.
The assembly wiD begin with
the playing of the band's theme
song, "In My Solitude." Following will be "Swinging on a Star,"
with Harold Goldstein singing the
vocal. Other numbers include "I
Understand," "Jumping at the
Woodsid.." "Blue Snow," "One
O'Clock Jump."
Bill Tomlinson will be the master of ceremonies. An impromptu
skit will be presented.
YWCA Names Date
For Potluck Sapper
The Y. W. C. A. will hold a
potluck supper on August 3 at
4:45 p.m. in the Granada Music
Workshop, President Frances Bennett announced yesterday.
Evelyn Johnson, music major,
has char re of the program, which
will include a business meeting
to discuss plans for the "Bachelor Hop," to be presented this
term. Three freshmen will be
elected tc the Y. W. C. A. cabinet at the meeting.
New tr> embers will be initiated
at the same time, when a recognition  service  will be  held.
The program includes a piano
prelude by Martha Fahnestock,
the call to worship by Grace Wilbur, vocal solo by Evelyn Johnson, the president's message by
Frances Bennett, a flute solo by
Jo Mool, ''Version Splendid," sung
by Sue Burch, and the candlelight
installation by Jo Mool.
26 Girls Win Mate
On Scholastic List
Twenty-six girls have made the
third trimester Honors list it was
announced by the scholarship
committer   last week.
A reportorial error was responsible for the omission of this list
in the last edition.
The girls who attained an average of 2.5 were Frances Biro,
Margaret Brown, Dorothy Edel-
son, Vivian Feld, Phyllis Goldman, Elizabeth Graham, RiU
Grossman, Bettie Harlow, Carolina Hunter, Bernice Karp, Myra
Liebowitz. Arlene Lipson, and Judith Lope:.
Also Jane Mack, Doris Malmud,
Jane Meyers, Martha Pugh, Lillian Rubin, Delores Sthwartz,
Alma Jane Schwarzenbek, Dorothea Skiiner, Muriel Smith, Mary
Francesca White, .Grace Wilbur,
Juanita V.'ithem, and Ruth Zimmerman.
fustice to Leave;
rroetschel Prexy
Don Justice, Oldest Living
Snark (president), was the guest
of honor at a Snarks luncheon yesterday at San Sebastian restaurant He is leaving the Univeraity shortly for New York.
Henry Troetschel was elected
Oldest Living Snark to fill the
vacancy.
It was announced that Marjorie
Stoneman Douglas, author and
Miami Herald hook reviewer, will
sddress the dob's next meeting.
AD  SALESMEN!
Advertising salaeasea who
work fer the HURRICANE get
20 per cent commL.ion. See
Earl Rubin, bwatmaae t,
in the office any day at  noon.
Junior Hosts Picked
For First Trii
Junior Hosts, an honorary organization of junior class students who have been appointed
because of their academic, leadership and service qualifications,
have been named by Miss Mary B.
Merritt, dean of women, and Foster Alter,  dean  of men.
Those appointed will serve for
this trimester only. Their duties
include cooperation with the social committee, work with the vice
president of the Student association in planning assemblies, work
with the orientation committees,
official greeters to visiting groups
on campus, cooperation with other
colleges, coordination of undergraduate activities, and service as
official University student hosts.
The girls named are Idamae
Armour, Frances Bennett, Muriel
Smith, Phoebe Von Paulson, Jeanette Cox, Faye Hunter, and\
Irene J. Reich.
The boys are Richard Farrior,
chairman; Bill Broughton, Herbert Paslee, Richard Hurlebaus,
Herbert Horton, Jack Straessley,
and   Marshall  Simmons.
Jacksonville,
Tulsa
'44 Schedule
Tulsa University, to be played
December 1, and Jacksonville Naval Air Technical Training center to be played October 20, are
the latest additions to the now
completed University of Miami
1944 football schedule. The Hurricanes have an open date on October 14, but the team will uae
that time to smooth out the kinks
in the machine revealed by the
South   Carolina  game.
With Tulsa arriving on December 1, the Hurricanes will meet
three bowl teams as the season
wanes.
The Tulsans have played in
bowls the last three years, losing
to Georgia tech 30—18 last January 1 in the Sugar bowl, to Tennessee 14—7 the year before in
the same bowl, and defeating
Texas Tech 6—0 in the Sun bowl
at El Paso on January 1, 1942.
The Texas Aggies have played
in four bowls, losing to L S. tl.
here last January 1, 19—14, losing to Alabama 29—21 in the
Cotton bowl the year before, beating Fordham 13—12 in the same
bowl in 1941, and beating Tulane
14—13 in the Cotton bowl in
1940.
Auburn downed Michigan state
in the Orange bowl, 6—0, in
1938.
The complete schedule follows:
Oct.   7   (Saturday)—South
Carolina
Oct.   14—Open date
Oct.   20—Jacksonville NATTC
Oct.   27—Wake Forest
Nov.    3—Florida
Nov. 10—North   Carolina  State
Nov. 17—Presbyterian
Nov. 24—Auburn
,   Dec.    1—Tulsa
\  Dec.   8—Texas A. *  M.
Panhellenic Tea
AtSegoviaMonday
Panhellenic council, composed
of two members from each sorority on campus, will entertain all
new co-ed students, freshmen and
upperclassmen at an informal tea
Monday at 3:30 p.m. at the Segovia dormitory.
Members of the council are
Joanne Fandrey, president. Delta
Zeta; Rita Grossman, Delta Phi
Epsilon; Betty Albin, Alpha Epsilon Phi; Jo Mool, Chi Omega;
Sari Jane Blinn, Kappa Kappa
Gamma; Mary Ruth Hayes, Zeta
Tau Alpha; Charlotte Motter,
Sigma Kappa.
Fandrey, Albin, Blinn and Motter are not in school this trimester.
Sophs To Enforce
Frosh M Booh Rules
Only the freshman rules prescribed in the M book will be
enforced this trimester, announced
Clyde Frazier, president of the
student body.
The rules are:
(1) Freshmen must wear dinks
at all times except Sunday and
when in attendance at formal affairs.
(2) All freshmen must attend
all  freshmen  meetings.
(3) Freshmen must not wear
high school insignia, excepting
class  rings.
(4) Freshmen must learn University songs and cheers.
(5) Freshmen should attend all
University athletic events and sit
in the section reserved for them.
Enforcement will be handled
by the sophomore council and the
senate committee on freshman orientation.
Complete Student Government Roster
Following   is   a   complete  list   of  student  government  officers:
Student   Association
Pres.—Clyde  Frazier
Vice   Pres.—Roland  Kohen
Secy.—Dick  Hurlebaus
Treas.—Hack Kushin
Honor Court
Chief Justice—Dan  Ginsberg
Prosecuting   Atty.—Jim    Pilafian
Associate Justices—
Dick Farrior
Sebastian   Sisti
Jack MeMiehael
Maurice Levy
Zerney  Barnes
Ray Fleming
Senior Class
Pres.—Irwin Raskin
Vice Pres.—Bob  Shashy
Secy.-Treas Rita   Grossman
Senators—
Prince Brigham
Maria Porra
Howard Barnhard
Natalie Frankel
Michael Juafa
Robert Fishkind
Junior   Cla»i
Pres.—Marshall Simmons
Vice Pres.—Hal Levin
Secy.—Frances Bennett
Treas.—George Auld
Senators—
Henry Blackburn
James Leibman
Gwen Young
Sophomore Cl_>»
Press.—Ed   Mickler
Vice Pres.—Gene  Sumner
Secy.—Bill Frost
Treas.—Sam  King
Senators—
Dan   Benham
Bob Whitaker
Henry   Troetschel
Fre.hm.mn   Cl...
Pros.—Ken  Tarbell
Vice Pres.—Bob High
Secy.—Edith Shier
Treas.—Not appointed
Senators—
Floyd  Archambault
Bill  Tomlinson
Bob Pretat